Monday, January 2, 2012

Get busy living or get busy dying. ― Stephen King

What makes January 1st such a special day?  Why do people wait all year for this one day to ask for second chances?  to make amends with old acquaintances?  to change?  to become better people?  to ask for the forgiveness they could have asked for all year long?  to be healthier, wealthier and then some?  I was driving to London today to pick up the last of my stuff and started thinking about what January 1st meant to me.  I get it, you know?  A day dedicated to new beginnings.  A symbolic start date at a shot to better yourself.  A chance to start over.  Cynics might say that people don't need a man-made date to push them down the road to self-recovery; they should strive every single day to make themselves decent human beings anyways.  But hey, I'm not a cynic.  I believe life, love and the meaning of, so I'd be lying if I said I wasn't hard on myself about my life.  The last week has been really tough on me, I couldn't help but rack my brain about the past year; my mistakes, my fuck ups, all the words I couldn't say, all the things I did that I didn't mean and most importantly, all the things I didn't do.  Then I realized it isn't about the's about my life.  I need to find something that gives me drive.  I need to find my passion.  I want to be permanently happy doing whatever I want whenever I want.  I don't want to be trapped in a life satisfying everyone else but myself.  This year is about finding myself, finding my passion.  I spent the majority of last year in this black rut.  I honestly feel like I let myself get lost in the shuffle of life and lost sight of all the things important, near and dear to me.  Clocks ticking; I'm not getting younger, might as well get back on track.  What better way to start then on this proclaimed day of change?

I want to fix the relationships that matter most to me and cut the poison out of my life.  That means I want to really work on how I treat people.  It's time I stand up for what I believe in and stop letting some people walk all over me.  I get caught up in people, perhaps I wear my heart on my sleeve a little too often; I give too many chances; I can't say no to people in fear of hurting their feelings.  Well, that's about to change: in with the new, out with the old. Bye bye douchebags.  (Don't be offended when I stop answering your calls..that means you're one of those people).

Volunteering makes me feel good.  Some might say that its selfish and in a way, it probably is.  I don't care though.  I plan on doing a lot more of it.  If helping people makes me feel good, then we're helping each other.   

Finance is a foreign concept to me.  I couldn't pull out two dimes to rub together if my life depended on it.  For those of you who know me, I am a broke student.  I'm in debt and I spend like it doesn't matter.  Well it does.  This year is dedicated to budgeting and paying off my debt, so that when I am done school, I can start with a clean slate.

I hate to admit it, but sometimes I smoke cigarettes.  No more.  Health is a major priority.  A healthy, well balanced lifestyle is in order.  I'm hanging up my raving shades, putting away the red solo cup, and  taking some yoga classes instead.  Back to basics.

Finally, I will move.  I won't stand still anymore.  Its time I made moves in life.  I will find my passion this year.  I will light the fire that will drive the rest of my life.

Here's to new beginnings and living the life I love.

Get living,


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